In 2025
Predicting Trump as president last year was a no-brainer. I also incorrectly predicted that Biden would actually run for president. Let's see what awaits us with
Predictions for 2025
- Kamala Harris tries to stop the certification of Donald Trump's win by building a fake Capitol with actors protesting as video for the media outlets. Plans go awry because Harris can only do fake media events for an hour before rebooting.
- Robert Kennedy Jr. gets food coloring and sugar removed from breakfast cereals. Bland, gray Boring-Os cereal hits the market to boos and derision. The inventory is bought for cheap by Elon Musk's Boring company for mining sludge.
- Capitalizing on current events, CBS spins off the series "Ghosts" into "Ghost Jobs" where the undead work in offices under Ghost-1B visas.
- Viewers ghost most of the CBS lineup, forcing Paramount to sell of the Star Trek franchise and producing 10 varients of "Matlock" for CBS instead.
- Elon Musk designs several technological southern border defenses at Trump's request. This includes drone swarms, tricked-out Cybertrucks and sharks with frickin' lasers.
- Baby Hippo Moo Deng, having picked Trump for president in 2024, becomes an advisor for the Chinese government. Multiple diplomats accidentally reveal state secrets after witnessing her cuteness.
- After more aircraft assembly issues, Boeing hires their whistle-blower assassins for their manufacturing as they are employees with a proven track record for getting the job done.
- Joe Biden will continue to think he can win the 2024 election and have multiple conversations about it with Jimmy Carter.
- Fast food enters the world of Artificial Intelligence with AI menu items. The results cause nausea and diarrhea. Fast food customers barely notice the difference.
- In a response to Americans, Trump changes Daylight Saving time to only Fall back instead of Spring forward so everyone always gets an extra hour of sleep. Expect 2025 to last even longer!