In 2026

My predictions for 2025 only hit the mark because of AI fast food, because AI is in everything. Even two of my predictions were written by AI. Thanks Grok! Now let's see what our electronic overloads do

In 2026

Elon Musk in his quest to remain cool, is renaming his Grok AI to "Fonzie Ayyyyy-I"

President Donald Trump decides to rename American Samoa to just Samoa because he doesn't like them.

Scientists finally confirm that cats have been controlling the internet since 2006. Congress immediately passes the “Feline Transparency Act,” requiring all cats to wear tiny disclosure badges on their collars.

Ozempic and other diet drugs are banned by RFK Jr's HHS. The next day a semi truck filled with McDonald's food arrives at the White House.

McDonald’s releases the McRib permanently. Global productivity drops 18%. Economists blame "permanent rib syndrome."

Every GOP Representative in the House resigns except for Mike Johnson. New Republicans sweep the 2026 elections because people actually get a choice in the voting process.

China invades Taiwan. When other nations put sanctions on the country, China uses remote switches to shut off their solar panels and electric cars. America becomes wildly successful selling internal combustion vehicles and coal.

President Trump builds a border wall for cheap from useless Chinese solar panels. The walls are electrified from a nearby LNG generator.

The AI wars begin in earns when AI chatbots are powered by other AI chatbots. They start arguing with each other and get into animated fights using their 7-fingered hands.

A Gen Z CEO gets billions in investment money when he creates an analog device that stores useful information with a one-page index. Eventually, investors learn these are called books.