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Thursday, December 31, 2009

In 2010

My prediction last year of President Obama going from 90% to 40% in the polls was damn close, except that he only started at 70%. The mind control machine may have a little life still in it. So long as the future is not dictated by the White House writing staff, I have more
Predictions for 2010
1. Starbucks goes against the tea party movement by selling "Progressive Blend Coffee."

2. Coffee sales plummet as Starbucks goes out of business.

3. MSNBC's "Morning Joe" sponsored by Starbucks is never boycotted because no one actually watches the show anyway. The loss of ad revenue, however, forces MSNBC to rename itself "The Lockup Channel."

4. The Lockup Channel's new program "Countdown to Keith Olbermann's Execution" scores all time high ratings with a 2.1 in the time slot.

5. Tiger Woods' endorsement field narrows to Trojans and Mad Dog 20/20 malt liquor.

6. While some Democrats change their party affiliation at the last minute to Republican, many decide to change their first and/or last name to "Republican" in hopes of fooling voters.

7. Instead of staying on vacation during national crises, President Obama chooses to go on vacation as they happen. Joe Biden then makes enough gaffes to make people miss Obama again.

8. Rick Lazio runs for governor of New York against Andrew Cuomo. He somehow turns a 30 point lead into a 117% deficit on Election Day.

9. After a sound defeat of Congressional Democrats on Election Day, Hillary Clinton resigns as Secretary of State to run against the Obama Administration in 2012. It turns out she'd been spending the past two years gathering evidence, videos and birth certificates on the Chicago mob running the country.

10. Inexplicably, Clinton, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck form an unstoppable political triumvirate. Get your Tea Party PUMA shirt while supplies last!

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