Rome, NY Sucks

But At Least We're Not Utica

Sunday, December 31, 2006

In 2007

Yet again, I was a little off with my 2006 Predictions, but this time I promise to seek help for my bad predictions and purge the demons in my soul that cause me to make such mistaken guesses. Or maybe, I'll just do some

Predictions for 2007

1. Ryan Seacrest is digitized so that there will never be a moment without him.

2. Televsion ends as we know it.

3. The Democratic Congress adjusts the military budget so that American forces will now be armed with spitballs.

4. As Barack Obama avoids confirming his run for the Democratic presidential nomination, his poll numbers double Hilary Clinton's. When he throws his hat in the ring in December 2007, they drop to 3%.

5. Elliot Spitzer gets a taste of his own medicine when his gubernatorial term starts off with 583 food poisoning lawsuits from garbage plates served at his inaugural.

6. Howard Stern, disappointed with the slight restrictions placed on him by Sirius satellite radio, decides to do his show for 2 people at a cost of $50 million each.

7. Google is beset by poor financial desions from it's founders, including a live morning DJ in their office every morning.

8. The US decides to battle illegal immigration by giving up and building schools and hospitals in Mexico.

9. Saddam takes the nice side of the apartment he and Osama bin Laden will be sharing in Hell.

10. Internet companies finally create a device that can deliver videos, music, web browsing, document scanning, take pictures and contact anyone in the world. The drawback is that the battery in it liquefies most internal organs.

11. J.K. Rowling sells off the rights to the Harry Potter franchise. The BBC produces the TV show "Harry Potter and the Blue Call Box of Time."

12. Dick Clark uses electrical technology invented by the ABC television network to destroy Ryan Seacrest once and for all.

Seacrest, Out!


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